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Just say the word cancer and any of a host of undesirable thoughts will pop in your mind- and with good reason. Cancer is one of the most common of diseases among pets and increases as the pet ages. In dogs, the frequency of getting cancer is equivalent to that of a human being getting cancer. Additionally, it accounts for close to half the deaths of pets over the age of 10. Just what is cancer and what causes it? Basically, cancer occurs when cell growth rates go out of control on, or inside, the body. What causes this chaos inside the system of the cell is still unknown-but the results have been well documented and the reputation is well known. Some cancers such as breast cancer, ovarian cancer or testicular cancer can be largely prevented by spaying or neutering your pet while it is still very young (6-12 months or so). Other types, however, are not as easy to detect, causing difficult preventive methods. Following are many common types of cancers seen in pets. Skin tumors in dogs should always be checked by a vet. Breast cancers have a high rate of malignancy in dogs- often 50%. Lymphoma is common and is characterized by an enlargement of the lymph nodes. Testicular tumors are common in dogs - especially those having retained testes. Cancers occurring in the head and/or neck are common in dogs and often malignant. Aggressive and quick therapy is required. Abdominal tumors are harder to detect and very common. Watch for weight loss or abdominal enlargement. Testing for cancer can be done in a variety of methods - from x-rays or blood tests to actual biopsy samples(tissue samples). Most often, biopsies are required to diagnose cancer. Treatments run the gamut in cancer therapy. Since each cancer may be of a different type from animal to animal, and each animals system may react differently to the same drug, the care is highly individualized. Your veterinarian may choose from such options as chemotherapy, radiation, hyperthermia, surgery, immuno-therapy, or cryosurgery(freezing) to treat your pet, although combinations of the above methods are quite common. Now for the big question. Just what are the success rates of these methods in treating my pet for cancer? Just as in humans, the success rate depends on a number of variables- what type of cancer your pet has, how early you detect the cancer,how you treat the cancer and how strong your pet is - just to name a few. Sometimes the cancer can be cured if response is quick and the treatment aggressive but all pets may receive a better quality of life from therapy received. The best therapy seems, however, to be early detection through regular vet visits and keen knowledge of your pets overall rate of health at all times. Watch for changes and be aware should any unusual symptoms pop up. COMMON SIGNS OF CANCER SEEN IN SMALLER ANIMALS • Loss of appetite • Sudden weight loss • Slow,or non-healing sores • Offensive odor • Abnormal growths or swellings • Loss of stamina • Hesitation in exercising • Persistent lameness or stiffness • Difficulty in eating or swallowing • Difficulty in breathing, defecating or urinating Article written and reprinted with permission of: http://www.pedigreedpups.com/ Purebred Dogs, Puppies and Dog Breeders - "Your New Best Friend" Copyright 2005. All rights reserved. prosolution penile enlargement pills manual penis enargement penile enlargment without pills penis enargement doctor penile enlargement herb penis enlargment review penile enlargement traction device natural penis enlargement pills

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A phobia is defined as an irrational fear. There are hundreds of them. Arachnophobia – fear of spiders Arachibutyrophobia – fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth Caligynephobia – fear of beautiful women Hippopotomonstrosesquippeddaliophobia – fear of long words Ithyphallophobia – fear of seeing an erect penis Placophobia – fear of tombstones Trichopathophobia – fear of hair Triskadekaphobia – fear of the number thirteen Xerophobia – fear of dryness Zemmiphobia – fear of the great mole rat …to pick out just a handful of mostly little known phobias. Phobias keep you safe. That's an odd claim to make. Anyone who suffers from a phobia of something they can't avoid knows how disabling phobias are. And experiencing a terror of an object or circumstance that others don't have any problem with is likely to make life uncomfortable at the very least. But let's have a look at this whole phobia issue. Snakes, spiders, and needles are very common phobias. Even chimpanzees suffer from snake phobia. It keeps them safe. Snakes can be lethal. But chimpanzees even go ape at a piece of hosepipe that looks like a snake lying on the ground. So being frightened of snakes makes more sense than not being frightened of snakes. Spiders too can be poisonous, so it makes sense to give them a wide berth too. Needles hurt so why not want to avoid having someone stick one in you and either suck blood out, or pump something in. Fear of the dark. Well you can't see if there's any danger in the dark and in the dark danger (bear, wolf, lion, hyena, plague infested rat) has a better chance of getting up close to you. So it makes sense to want to keep a light on (have a fire burning) all night. So you can see already that some phobias might have origins in our evolutionary past. And panicking or screaming or generally making a fuss would be of benefit to the whole tribal group alerting them of danger in much the way that one or two individuals in a flock or a herd will give an alarm call when they spot a predator on the prowl. The only problem is that with a phobia, the reaction has gotten a little out of hand. The scale of it has gone beyond what is necessary, that's all. But then there are the agoraphobics and social phobics. Phobias like these actually make a person's world very small and very frightening. But if you feel uncertain of yourself and have low self-esteem then the phobia provides a legitimate reason to avoid being out and having to interact with others. So the phobia, uncomfortable though it is, actually has some benefits. The problem is, benefits or not, that when you are confronted with the thing that terrifies you, when you have to go on holiday and spend several hours trapped in an aeroplane convinced you are going to die, and then spend a fortnight looking forward to the terror of the return, you experience a very real Hell. Whatever the phobia is, when it happens, all sense goes out of the window and life becomes something that you'd readily give up rather than face that thing that frightens you. This is a serious problem. Anything that debilitating, anything that has that much power to destroy the rational intelligence of a healthy mind is something to be treated with respect and with all seriousness. So what's the difference between a phobia and a fear. I've handled snakes and enjoyed it, they are amazing creatures. But hand me a cobra and I'd back away with some trepidation. I don't have a problem with harmless spiders crawling on me, but I'd be seriously panicked if a black widow was crawling up my arm. This is a normal healthy, sensible reaction. Panicking because you are told there is a snake in a bag in the next room isn't. Panicking because you bring an image of a spider into your mind is abnormal. A phobia fills your mind and there is nothing there but a desire to be away from the source of the phobia. Thinking about the object of the phobia brings on symptoms almost identical to their actual physical presence. Often when phobias are treated the sufferer is asked to score the severity on a scale of 1 to 10, where ten is the highest level of terror they can imagine and 1 is feeling just ever so slightly uncomfortable. If the score isn't 8 or above, then there is a strong likelihood that there is no phobia. That doesn't mean there isn't a problem, but it does mean the treatment could be different. Most people can handle fears up to level 7, above that it takes over the mind completely. But it is all in the mind. That's why a phobia is one of the easiest problems for a hypnotherapist to fix. I'll tell you quickly one of the 'tricks' we use to scramble up a phobic image. It's generally known as the five-minute phobia cure. Let's say arachnophobia, a fear of spiders, is the problem. The sufferer is asked to picture a spider in their mind and then put a funny hat on it, say a clown's hat with a big bobble on the top. Then you could put bright yellow Wellington boots on each of its eight legs, and maybe give it a big red nose. And you play around with the image until you see a smile or a laugh. It's just a question of finding the right elements that trigger a humorous response. You can't laugh and be frightened simultaneously. What this does is interfere with the thought pathways that lead to a fear response when an image of a spider is encountered (imagined or real), so the neurons that used to fire so readily on presentation of that image can't do so, or can't do so without other neurons also firing that lead to a relaxation response. The more scrambled and the more humorous you can make the image, the more powerful the 'cure'. free pennis enlargement technique vimax penis enlargement patch penis enhancement exercise vigrx penis enlargment pill magna rx truth about penis enhancement pills penis enlagement patch vigrx penis pill herbal natural penis enlagement

Women's capacity for orgasm is awesome. They can come over and over again, and still be ready for more! This capacity seems almost limitless. They can experience clitoral orgasms, g-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms, blended orgasms, and not only one but multiples of any of these! They've even been blessed with a body part, the clitoris, whose only purpose is sexual pleasure. This may all seem a bit unfair to men who typically reach a precipice, fall over the edge, roll over and go to sleep! Why is it then that so many women are frustrated rather than satisfied? Why is it that for so many loving couples, the female orgasm remains an elusive dream; one in which she's perhaps become resigned to sex that's pleasurable but not truly satisfying, or even worse, faking it to salvage her partner's ego. If it is really bad perhaps she fakes orgasm just to get the sexual ordeal over with! Or he sadly wonders: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make her come despite stiff fingers and aching tongue? His sexual self-esteem is wounded, and he secretly feels less of a man believing he has failed her. The first step on the path to freeing a woman's orgasm is for both men and women to understand that men do not give women orgasms. Women allow themselves to have orgasms. Despite popular belief, no matter how good a lover you may be, unless your partner can give herself up to the pleasures of her body, she won't have orgasms. This realization alone can open the door to women becoming orgasmic. It takes the pressure to "perform" off of men, and it frees women to take responsibility for their own sexual fulfillment. This is very important. If your woman is blaming you, and you may also be blaming yourself for her not having orgasms, it is quite possible, even likely, that you are both looking in the wrong place to solve the problem. Mind you, an unskilled, selfish, or insensitive male lover can be a real problem, and at the very least is certainly a dull bore. And to say that a woman is responsible for her own sexual fulfillment does not mean you revert to a slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am approach to sex and let her fend for herself. After all, the more skilled and attentive a lover is the more pleasure he himself receives, and although you can't give her an orgasm you certainly can help her to have one, or even lots of them. So even though it's not entirely up to you, there is something you can do to help. The biggest barrier to orgasm for women is mental distraction - thoughts that float into her mind, catching her in her head, and taking her away from what's going on in her body. As soon as she starts thinking, she is out of the moment and will lose touch with her senses and her pleasure. Some of these thoughts may trigger feelings of shame or guilt about experiencing sexual pleasure, for no matter how liberated our attitudes toward sex seem to have become, there yet exists the perception that "good" girls don't! Even today women are divided into categories of "virgin" or "whore". Those who engage lustily in the delights of the body are somehow morally questionable. You can help your delectable partner move beyond these pleasure stifling attitudes by letting her know how much you respect, admire and cherish her fully female sensual self. Tell her often, especially when you're making love, that it thoroughly turns you on to see her let loose the passionate side of her nature. This is not always easy for men to do. They may have internalized an unconscious conditioning that leads them to accept the rather misogynist belief that women can't be good and pure, and also be fantastic lovers. If they believe this, they are placing themselves in a very unfortunate situation. This belief system inevitably leads to the man selecting one woman for a partner, spouse and mother, and a different partner for an affair or mistress. Adultery is about the only option left to a man who holds such a belief system. The resulting deceit and lying force a separation between the couple and the relationship ends soon enough, for example in breaking up or divorce. In this scenario, the man is at fault and the solution does lie with him. Only a change in his beliefs will solve this problem. Sexual abuse is a horror and curse that is unbelievably common in our society. Women that have been sexually abused often have great difficulty in allowing themselves to trust their lover, let go into the sensual moment, and surrender to sexual ecstasy. If your lady is having difficulty experiencing orgasm; if you are a reasonably skilled lover; and if you have communicated to her that you honestly wish her to fully awaken as a sexual partner, then the problem could be some psychological damage from sexual abuse. Ask her about this with the greatest tenderness and caring that you are capable of. Be aware that many women actually blame themselves for their own sexual abuse, so this can be the touchiest of all possible subjects for discussion. If sexual abuse is an issue, it is advisable to encourage her to seek professional counseling or some other form of help. Besides worrying about whether they are "bad" if they really enjoy and want sex "a lot", many women worry about enjoying sex the right way. They worry about how they look, smell and taste. They worry that the cellulite in their upper thighs or the slight bulge of tummy fat may quiver unattractively. They worry about being "clean down there". They worry about how long it takes to reach climax, how much time their man has to spend stroking, licking, and caressing to help them fly over the mountain. All of these thoughts take them out of lovemaking. To help her stay in the pleasures of her body tell her with words and sounds and looks that you adore her, you love to devour her with your tongue, you could keep on touching her forever, it's a delight to you to give her pleasure. And mean it, because if you haven't learned how to enjoy pleasuring your partner, pretty soon you won't have one! Once she's able to relax into the joys of lovemaking and focus on the exquisite sensations her body can feel rather than listening to the demon distractors her mind can conjure up, a woman's path to orgasm is much clearer. With particular loving skills of your own you can assist her to break that path wide open. Most men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time, whether they're sexually aroused or not. This isn't usually the case with women. Think of the vagina as a "potential" opening, a magical door that will happily open wide to receive you, but only after you've called ahead to ensure your welcome. Be certain she's eager for your genital explorations by focusing loving attention on other parts of her body first - lots of kissing, neck nuzzling, tender strokes on back, shoulders and arms, then adoring caresses of her breasts. Only after you sense she's ready, through signs like rapid breathing, flushed skin, hardened nipples or enticing moans should you move to her vagina. Once your hand or mouth is at her sweet honey pot begin to explore it from the outside inward - outer lips, clitoris, inner lips, vaginal canal. Generally women reach orgasm most easily through clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is extremely sensitive to touch of all kinds. Often the head of the clitoris, the pointed tip, is too sensitive for much direct pressure, so focus your attention on the sides. Touch around the clitoris instead of right on it, at least until her level of excitement increases. The skin tissue of your fingers is not nearly as sensitive as the tissue around her clitoris. But the tissue of your mouth and tongue is an almost perfect match in sensitivity. Unless you are more highly skilled in using your fingers, it is a much safer way to start by using your mouth for oral stimulation of the clitoris. Experiment with different pressures, strokes and speeds. Ask her which ones she likes best. A good way to do this is to try two different touches, then ask her if she likes "a" or "b" better. If she's willing, invite her to masturbate for you so you can learn exactly how she likes to be touched. Many women are shy to do this at first but with some gentle encouragement she may really show her wanton self. It can be a great turn-on for both of you. Many men are actually quite frightened by a woman who is fully sexually awakened. They may doubt their own ability as a man to keep up, or to be able to perform adequately. They may fear that if she is too much woman sexually for him, that she may go elsewhere and find what she wants. It may help you to overcome this fear if you remember that you are not responsible for giving your lady sexual satisfaction. She must do that for herself. But if this fear is very strong, you may seek counseling help to deal with it. When you do find a particular stroke or caress that is really driving her wild, keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it. Don't change anything about it. Don't go faster, slower, softer, harder, or switch direction. Keep doing exactly the same thing until she lets you know she wants a change either through words or body movement. This holds true whether you're pleasuring her clitorally or vaginally with your fingers or your mouth. Keep going even if your hands or mouth get really tired! It's a good idea to wait until she is very aroused before entering her vagina either with your fingers or your penis. Generally if she's not wet, she's not ready. It's as simple as that. If your lover doesn't have a lot of natural vaginal juices even when she is fully aroused be sure to use a good silicone or water-based lubricant. Nothing can be a quicker turn-off than rough, dry skin rubbing on soft vaginal tissues. Water-based or silicone lubricant is better because oil can clog the sensitive vaginal tissue. The most sensitive part of a woman's vaginal canal is the first inch to two inches. It's here that most of the nerve endings are located, so when you first enter her concentrate most of your attention there. The elusive g-spot can usually be found in this general area, on the top of the vaginal wall, a couple of inches in. Imagine a glass lying on the floor. If you reach your first two fingers into the glass at the top, i.e., toward the ceiling rather than the bottom towards the floor, you should find it. It is difficult to reach the g-spot through intercourse, so you will find it much easier with you fingers than with your penis. There are also some interesting dildos and vibrators with just the right shape to reach the G-spot. Move your index finger or your first two fingers in a "come hither" motion (as if you were asking someone from across the room to come over to where you are) and gently stroke her. When you touch her g-spot you may notice a more bumpy or raised area of skin, but you may not. The best way to know you've found this highly intense love spot is by her reaction. Where you look is not quite as important as when you look. Unless she is excited through and through, perhaps from a clitoral orgasm beforehand, it can be difficult to find the g-spot. Stimulation of the g-spot can produce extraordinarily intense orgasms. As a woman is approaching a g-spot orgasm she may feel she has to urinate. This may immediately cause her to tighten up, stop, and pull back from the edge of bliss. If she can stay relaxed and keep going through that "have-to-pee" sensation it will pass and move on into deep waves of sexual delight. The woman should urinate before intercourse begins, so she can be more confident that the feeling that she has to urinate is a misleading feeling and can be safely ignored. For most women it is difficult to reach a climax through intercourse alone. This is because the sensitive clitoris isn't easily stimulated just by thrusting motions; the g-spot is difficult to reach with even a fully erect penis; and because often the male partner goes over the edge into ejaculatory orgasm before the woman has had enough action to bring her to the heights. If you touch her clitoris before and during intercourse, and if you've pleasured her vaginally by touching the g-spot with your fingers, the chances are much better that she will have a deep vaginal orgasm while your penis is inside her. Learn the strokes that turn her on. Tell her how fabulous it is that she's sensual and sexual. Let her know you adore her body and love to touch and kiss it for hours. Help her forget about trying to make orgasm happen and focus instead on thoroughly enjoying every moment of lovemaking. If you awaken your multi-orgasmic woman you are going to like it! prosolution penis enlagement pills plastic surgery penis enargement penis enlarement pic surgical penis enhancement enlargement manhattan penile vimax penis enlargement cream penis enlarement before and after penis enargement exercise herbal natural penis enlagement

The resent passing of another HIV (Human immunodeficiency virus) testing awareness day this summer made me think about some of my old clients. I was a state certified HIV test counselor for the state of Michigan at the agency where I worked. This meant that I administered HIV tests for those people who believed that they may have been put at risk for contracting HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. This was a stressful job, and some days, down right awful. The awful days, as you can imagine, were the ones when I had to tell a client that they had tested positive for the HIV antibodies. Thankfully, I only had to tell a few people, but those few individuals are forever carved into my mind. I will never forget them or the day that I had to tell them that they most likely were infected with a life altering infection. These people were young, old, and middle aged. They were people not unlike me. Hard working, dedicated to family, goal oriented, future driven. They were beautiful people that are going through life with an ugly, incurable illness. Unfortunately for me, since these individuals tested anonymously, I will never know their true identities and will probably never know how they are and if they are living healthy productive lives, or suffering and alone. Guess what? You could be infected. You could be at risk. You should be one of those clients that walks into an office and asks to be tested. HIV doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if you are rich or poor. If you are male or female. Gay or straight. It doesn’t care how old you are. We have babies in this country still being born with the virus because moms don’t know they are infected. Parents and grandparents are increasingly being diagnosed with HIV. Yes, you need to know that your mom and dad or grandmom and grandpa still have sex. They still can potentially be infected if they are involved with someone sexually that has the virus. HIV is still out there. It is still killing people. We do not know yet how to stop it. Doctors and researchers are developing new ways all the time to slow it down, limit its effects on people’s lives, but we are no where near eliminating it from our world. I have been working with educating about HIV for around 20 years. I am sad and horrified to look at the statistics and see that we are no better off now than we were 20 years ago. The numbers keep rising. There is much in the news about HIV/AIDS rates in Africa and other countries, but I want to remind people that in your own backyard, HIV is still raging. We need to remind people that there are safer ways to behave, to reduce the risk of the infection spreading. The best way to reduce the risk of spreading HIV is to know your own status. There are testing sites available in your state. Get a test. They only take a short time to administer, and usually you can do it without giving blood. You can, in many cases, do it anonymously. Testing is the only way that you will know if you are infected. The earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis. Don’t assume you only associate with non-risky people. You can’t possibly know. Ask anyone who has HIV. As a society, we need to become more comfortable with talking about uncomfortable topics. We need to talk to potential partners. We need to talk to our doctors. We need to talk to our friends. I remember thinking when I was a teenager that I wanted to be just like Dr. Ruth Westheimer when I grew up. She was so great about telling it like it was. She called a penis a penis and was proud to do so. I admired that in a time when people didn’t talk to teens about sex, she was willing to. Today, we seem to only talk to teens. We stop talking once that teen grows up. They has become very apparent due to the increasing number of adults over the age of 50 who are becoming infected. So now I am talking. The lessons are fairly simple. Know your HIV status. Know the infectious disease status of your sex partner, or don’t have sex. Use a condom. Don’t share needles if you are using drugs. If it isn’t possible to refuse every time, do it some of the time. Every time you think about your health and act positively for it, you reduce your risk and add another day to the fight against this illness. Find support. There are many wonderful agencies in communities across this country that offer education, help, and the things you need to live a safer life. Everyone has their own story and their own reason not to live safely. These agencies have been trained to help each individual create their own specific plan of action. There are some people who feel that the drugs are available, so it is worth the risk. Certainly we risk getting the flu or infections by going out into the general public with the understanding that there are medications available to make us better if we get sick. So why is HIV different? One reason is that the drugs are expensive. Many people don’t have the insurance coverage to help pay for them, and even if they do, some drugs are hard to come by in certain areas. Secondly, the side effects for many of these drugs are brutal. I know people living with the virus who have chosen to deal with the disease rather than be restricted by the drugs. Another reason is that when you get Strep throat, you take an antibiotic for 10 days and you are done with that medication and that infection. If you get infected with HIV, you take medication for the rest of your life, with the added stress that if you forget to take it to often, it may become ineffective for you, all the while knowing that you never are going to be free of HIV. It is as simple and straightforward as all that. Dr. Ruth couldn’t say it plainer. HIV can’t just be thought about on testing days or awareness days. It needs to be thought about, talked about, and dealt with daily. It needs to have people like you and me to continue to fight the fight for comprehensive sexuality education. To continue to educate everyone about what HIV is about and who it affects. We need to talk equally to young and old alike about the risks that they take with their lives. And mostly we need to not forget those that have died and continue to be infected and affected by a disease that is so easy to prevent. I know that I will always think about my clients and will pray that they are living happy healthy lives. enlargement penis pill vimax pnis enlargement system penis enlarement review penis enlarement drug herbal penis enlargement pill penis enargement doctor penis girth enhancement enlargment manhattan penile herbal natural penis enlagement

Most sex offenders "groom" their victims prior to any sexual abuse for a period of weeks, months or even years. After gaining trust in the parents, the offender offers to baby sit the child or provide fun activities. During this time, he/she proceeds to groom the child. The perpetrator is aware that the child must be controlled to the extent where he/she can sexually abuse the child without fear of disclosure to another adult. This manipulation may be obtained in many ways: favors, threats, guilt, shame, etc. A mother revealed her husband played a tickling game with their three-year-old son. The rules of the game was to play with Daddy and have fun—the son was instructed to tickle his father’s nipples while sitting in a straddled position over his father’s nude body from the waist up. The object of this game was, ‘Make daddy laugh.’ Of course, the father could withhold laughing until he experienced the sexual stimulation he desired. When the mother objected to this game, the father admonished her for being jealous of his time with their son. Another mother was horrified when her three-year old daughter asked her to play the ‘pee-pee’ game. She asked her daughter to explain this game. Her daughter lay on her back on the floor; legs spread and said, “Touch my ‘pee-pee,’ Mommy, that is what Daddy does.” Fathers often cuddle in bed with their daughters in a spoon position, arm across their mid-body with only underware or pajamas on. Several clients have reported feeling their father’s penis against their legs or back, while not knowing what to do—as they wanted their father’s affection—they didn’t like the feeling of his genitals against their body. This cuddling seems harmless. The women also reported sexual abuse occurred sometime later. Was the cuddling in bed a form of grooming or was the cuddling an ill advised way to show affection with the child that unwittingly led to subsequent sexual abuse? In either belief, the damage is done. In a study of twenty adult sex offenders conducted by Jon Cote, Steven Wolf and Tim Smith; two of the key questions asked were: 1. “Was there something about the child’s behavior which attracted you to the child?” • “The warm and friendly child or the vulnerable child. Friendly, showed me their panties.” • “The way the child would look at me, trustingly.” • “The child who was teasing me, smiling at me, asking me to do favors.” • “Someone who had been a victim before [sexual abuse or spankings], quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been, a victim would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty. Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.” 2. “After you had identified a potential victim, what did you do to engage the child into sexual contact?” The responses included: • “I didn’t say anything. It was at night, and she was in bed asleep.” • “Talking, spending time with them, being around them at bedtime, being around them in my underwear, sitting down on the bed with them. Constantly evaluating the child’s reaction… A lot of touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling.” [Desensitizing the child with appropriate behavior.] • “Playing, talking, giving special attention, trying to get the child to initiate contact with me… Get the child to feel safe to talk with me… From here I would initiate different kinds of contact, such as touching the child’s back, head… Testing the child to see how much she would take before she would pull away.” • “Isolate them from other people. Once alone, I would make a game of it (red light, green light with touching up their leg until they said stop). Making it fun.” • “Most of the time I would start by giving them a rub down. When I got them aroused, I would take the chance and place my hand on their penis to masturbate them. If they would not object, I would take this to mean it was okay… I would isolate them. I might spend the night with them. Physical isolation, closeness, contact are more important than verbal seduction. Many clients have reported their sexual abuse grooming started when they showered with a parent—or the parent/caretaker washed the child’s genital area with bare hands and soap long past the stage a child can attend to their own genital hygiene. While for some this activity was the extent of the covert sexual contact, but for others it evolved into overt sexual abuse. Even though the activity was only ‘rubbing’ the genital area ostensibly for bathing purposes, many people have suffered classic aftereffects of sexual abuse. How? You might ask, would the child experience sexual abuse by having their genital area washed with bare hands and soap? The answer is simple. At birth, children are complete neurological sexual beings who can experience erotic sensation although they are sexually immature and without an active sex drive. Furthermore, the child experiences the adult’s physiology, which has sexual overtones, thus although the child doesn’t have a name for the experience the child knows something has changed. Within the definition of sexual abuse it is abuse, “If a child cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse she/he has been violated.” Grooming or sexual abuse activities include: • Playing pool tag—when the child is tagged ‘Playfully’ pulling the child’s swimsuit down. • Pulling her panties down without her permission. • Male holding a child on his lap while he has an erection. • Kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver and inappropriate for the child. • Seemingly innocuous touching, caressing, wrestling, tickling or playing, which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person. • Adult treats the child as an equal/peer, pseudo or surrogate spouse. Unique and less frequently reported grooming activities: • Male demonstrates and instructs the child how to suck on a peeled banana without breaking or putting teeth marks on it. Once the child has complied and masters the skill; this activity is shifted to his penis—often using the con—“I have a big banana between my legs, you can suck on it.” • Male initiates a game of ‘sucking the jelly’ out of my big toe. Once the child has complied and understands the ‘game.’ This activity is shifted to his penis. • Invading a child’s privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her/him unaware or indisposed. This invasion is a power play—disempowering their victim—indoctrinating the child to comply with the adult’s authority and control in all situations and circumstances. • Enemas or frequent inspection of the child’s genitals ostensibly for health reasons. In the twenty-five years I have worked with sexual abuse survivors in the healing process, I have discovered a child is rarely subjected to only one type of sexual abuse. Furthermore, I have learned the sad truth about the human mind’s ability to seemingly conceive of endless ways to sexually abuse children. Resource: Conte, Jon R., Steven Wolf, Tim Smith. "What Sexual Offenders Tell Us About Prevention Strategies." Child Abuse & Neglect Vol. 13 (1989): 293-301.